Day 94....
I woke up for the second week in a row thinking I had school on my day off at 6am in the morning. I jumped out of bed and a few profane words had escaped my mouth. I scrambled to think what am I going to wear, nothing is ironed. While thinking of creative ways to dress, I was also thinking what am I supposed to be teaching today, what are my lesson plans and most of all why didn’t any of my alarms go off. In this frenzy of madness I kept trying to figure out what I did last night. I was so tired I couldn’t remember anything. Then finally when I realized the last thing I had planned for my students was the unit test, I thought to myself where are my test papers? I remembered they would be on my desk, then I all of a sudden it hit me it’s Friday (in Kuwait Friday and Saturday are our days off). I calmed down and for the second straight week laughed at myself and went back to bed and did not get out until 12pm.
The simple reason to why for the past two weeks I have woken up on Fridays in such a panic was because this actually did happen to me once on a Wednesday two weeks ago. The power in my apartment must have surged and as a result my alarm clock didn’t go as it was reset. I woke up at 7:11, school started 7:30. In 30 seconds flat I was out the door and grabbing a cab. Every morning we take the bus which leaves at 6am to get us to the school. I tell the cab driver to go fast. I was making great time and then I hit all the traffic, so an hour later I make it to school, missing first period and my first class of the day. Needless to say it was not a good feeling. Punctuality is something I constantly enforce to my students and no longer was I perfect in that regard and some of my more troublesome kids in a class that I did not miss decided to make a point of asking why I was late today for school, trying to find an edge on me. But in my infinite wisdom I told them it was personal and that seemed to be a good enough answer.
Now you may have been thinking to yourself looks like Eric gave up on his blog, quite the contrary actually! In reality, the demands of a full time teaching job has been taking a toll on this young educator. Waking up at 5am in the early morning and not getting home until 4pm, then crashing for a few hours, followed by scavenging for food as well as wondering what I’m going to teach tomorrow has really taken away from all the leisurely things that I had been so fond of doing.
By no means am I complaining. This career has provided a lot of challenges, which I in my opinion I have not met. The first challenge is being completely organized. Something I struggle with. I think this mostly has to do with my inexperience as a young budding teacher. However, it is not all about just being organized, it’s the culmination of being organized, lesson planning, dealing with all sorts of interruptions during the day, substituting for other classes, dealing with individual students, and all the administrative responsibilities on the side.
Having a job that now pays a salary and not by the hour has changed my mind set in some ways. For me the most noticeable way is how I break down my day. In all my previous jobs which were to pay my way through university they were all wage based hourly jobs. Every time an hour went by I would think to myself another 10 dollars or whatever the minimum wage as at the time. I would then break up each shift up in a way to help pass the agonizing pain of my ultimate boredom thinking, all this money I’m putting in my school better be worth it and it has. Now when I get to the school at 6:30 every morning, Heather, Stephen and I go get our ritual coffees and we discuss many topics about school and our kids and so forth. However, in our minds we don’t think I can’t wait for this day to be over or this job is so boring its melting my brain, or how can we make the time pass faster. It’s will we get what we need to get done today done? Everyday it’s a race to the finish, only to end up at the starting line the next day once again.
Something that I have found even more profound on a personal note is I don’t think of even making money will I’m at school, one reason could be because there is a sense of job security since I have a teaching position. Money actually never crosses my mind, how much or how little or even am I making enough that I am happy with. I think I have truly fallen in line with the saying, “find a profession that would do for free and do it,” or something like that anyways. There are two things I know I love to do. One is talking which I am sure all of us are aware. And the second well it’s removing the weight of the world from the shoulders of many young students, whether I teach them or not.
During teachers college I rented a room from a sweet lady named Mrs. Clow. Every now and then when I was cooking we would have various conversations about whatever was on her mind. The one thing she had told me her father had once said to her is, “get an education. An education bears no weight; you can carry it with you wherever you go.” That has been something that has stuck with me ever since she had said it. I think many of us know what it feels like to have the weight of the world sit on our shoulders and push us down and not being able to lift it off. By educating all the students I come across this year, the next and every other year, I want to provide them with, knowledge and the tools they need of an education that bears not weight, to help remover the weight of the world around them. There are few worse things than being powerless in a situation because we don’t know what to do. By giving these students all I have to offer through my experiences, knowledge and wisdom, I hope to remove some of the weight off of their shoulders and replace with a weightless education that will follow them for the rest of their lives. Although I may never know the impact I will have on these students I hope for it to be only in the most positive sense. Whether it means those days that I have to come down really hard on the class or an individual which I have, or the days in which a second chance, and a kind smile is the answer to their success and can be the difference between them showing up to class or not.
As result, with each passing day I realize more and more how much teaching is exactly what I want to do and I couldn’t picture doing anything else. Every day I reflect and I am unsatisfied with how I taught, only thinking I can be better tomorrow, or if I was to restart this year all over again how differently I would do it. I know I will never be happy with how I teach. If teaching was a sport all I want to be is in first place, that way I would know that I am doing the best possible job for the students. I guess that is just a mentality of always wanting to be the best from having been an athlete for so long. However, I will continue to improve myself the best I can. Will I ever reach the top of teaching, I hope not. I don’t think you could. But if I did somehow, someday I certainly would not want to know in fear of becoming satisfied and no longer finding new ways to improve myself.
I woke up for the second week in a row thinking I had school on my day off at 6am in the morning. I jumped out of bed and a few profane words had escaped my mouth. I scrambled to think what am I going to wear, nothing is ironed. While thinking of creative ways to dress, I was also thinking what am I supposed to be teaching today, what are my lesson plans and most of all why didn’t any of my alarms go off. In this frenzy of madness I kept trying to figure out what I did last night. I was so tired I couldn’t remember anything. Then finally when I realized the last thing I had planned for my students was the unit test, I thought to myself where are my test papers? I remembered they would be on my desk, then I all of a sudden it hit me it’s Friday (in Kuwait Friday and Saturday are our days off). I calmed down and for the second straight week laughed at myself and went back to bed and did not get out until 12pm.
The simple reason to why for the past two weeks I have woken up on Fridays in such a panic was because this actually did happen to me once on a Wednesday two weeks ago. The power in my apartment must have surged and as a result my alarm clock didn’t go as it was reset. I woke up at 7:11, school started 7:30. In 30 seconds flat I was out the door and grabbing a cab. Every morning we take the bus which leaves at 6am to get us to the school. I tell the cab driver to go fast. I was making great time and then I hit all the traffic, so an hour later I make it to school, missing first period and my first class of the day. Needless to say it was not a good feeling. Punctuality is something I constantly enforce to my students and no longer was I perfect in that regard and some of my more troublesome kids in a class that I did not miss decided to make a point of asking why I was late today for school, trying to find an edge on me. But in my infinite wisdom I told them it was personal and that seemed to be a good enough answer.
Now you may have been thinking to yourself looks like Eric gave up on his blog, quite the contrary actually! In reality, the demands of a full time teaching job has been taking a toll on this young educator. Waking up at 5am in the early morning and not getting home until 4pm, then crashing for a few hours, followed by scavenging for food as well as wondering what I’m going to teach tomorrow has really taken away from all the leisurely things that I had been so fond of doing.
By no means am I complaining. This career has provided a lot of challenges, which I in my opinion I have not met. The first challenge is being completely organized. Something I struggle with. I think this mostly has to do with my inexperience as a young budding teacher. However, it is not all about just being organized, it’s the culmination of being organized, lesson planning, dealing with all sorts of interruptions during the day, substituting for other classes, dealing with individual students, and all the administrative responsibilities on the side.
Having a job that now pays a salary and not by the hour has changed my mind set in some ways. For me the most noticeable way is how I break down my day. In all my previous jobs which were to pay my way through university they were all wage based hourly jobs. Every time an hour went by I would think to myself another 10 dollars or whatever the minimum wage as at the time. I would then break up each shift up in a way to help pass the agonizing pain of my ultimate boredom thinking, all this money I’m putting in my school better be worth it and it has. Now when I get to the school at 6:30 every morning, Heather, Stephen and I go get our ritual coffees and we discuss many topics about school and our kids and so forth. However, in our minds we don’t think I can’t wait for this day to be over or this job is so boring its melting my brain, or how can we make the time pass faster. It’s will we get what we need to get done today done? Everyday it’s a race to the finish, only to end up at the starting line the next day once again.
Something that I have found even more profound on a personal note is I don’t think of even making money will I’m at school, one reason could be because there is a sense of job security since I have a teaching position. Money actually never crosses my mind, how much or how little or even am I making enough that I am happy with. I think I have truly fallen in line with the saying, “find a profession that would do for free and do it,” or something like that anyways. There are two things I know I love to do. One is talking which I am sure all of us are aware. And the second well it’s removing the weight of the world from the shoulders of many young students, whether I teach them or not.
During teachers college I rented a room from a sweet lady named Mrs. Clow. Every now and then when I was cooking we would have various conversations about whatever was on her mind. The one thing she had told me her father had once said to her is, “get an education. An education bears no weight; you can carry it with you wherever you go.” That has been something that has stuck with me ever since she had said it. I think many of us know what it feels like to have the weight of the world sit on our shoulders and push us down and not being able to lift it off. By educating all the students I come across this year, the next and every other year, I want to provide them with, knowledge and the tools they need of an education that bears not weight, to help remover the weight of the world around them. There are few worse things than being powerless in a situation because we don’t know what to do. By giving these students all I have to offer through my experiences, knowledge and wisdom, I hope to remove some of the weight off of their shoulders and replace with a weightless education that will follow them for the rest of their lives. Although I may never know the impact I will have on these students I hope for it to be only in the most positive sense. Whether it means those days that I have to come down really hard on the class or an individual which I have, or the days in which a second chance, and a kind smile is the answer to their success and can be the difference between them showing up to class or not.
As result, with each passing day I realize more and more how much teaching is exactly what I want to do and I couldn’t picture doing anything else. Every day I reflect and I am unsatisfied with how I taught, only thinking I can be better tomorrow, or if I was to restart this year all over again how differently I would do it. I know I will never be happy with how I teach. If teaching was a sport all I want to be is in first place, that way I would know that I am doing the best possible job for the students. I guess that is just a mentality of always wanting to be the best from having been an athlete for so long. However, I will continue to improve myself the best I can. Will I ever reach the top of teaching, I hope not. I don’t think you could. But if I did somehow, someday I certainly would not want to know in fear of becoming satisfied and no longer finding new ways to improve myself.
